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| "Holy crap."
(written last Sunday Night)
So I have been living alone for the last week since my brother's been out of town. The place is a house and it's in a pretty decent area surrounded by yuppies, or yuppies with kids or old people(the type who lived there since the area was built). On a given Saturday you'll see at least 40+ people pass your front door per hour and many know each other (or if they don't, they act like they do - many a stranger has kindly commented about my snow removal, or there lackof).
I got home after going uptown yesterday and I saw what everyone dreads most when they get home. The door to the house was open. I don't know how this happened but it did, and fortunately, nothing was taken. Everything was in the same place as I had left it. My laptop, the TV, the AC and heater units, anything else of actual value. The only area that was disturbed was the front area where there was some snow from the storm. When I went to the front door, there was some light footprints that led up to it but as far as I can tell, nothing was taken. Everything was in it's right place. My friend who dropped me off came in and we looked around in every floor and closet so I don't think anyone stayed here or anything - but I'm still a little freaked.
I've barricaded myself in my brother's unit so I'll look everything over tomorrow in light's day. I think the cause of this was the cold winter weather. I was in a rush on Saturday night and was a little preoccupied so I probably didn't close the door tightly behind me or turn to lock it, and since it's cold, the door latch didn't catch. So when the wind blew, the door opened and everything.
Addendum - Tuesday Night:
I just spoke with one of my neighbours, and she told me that she and her sister saw the door open and looked around. She thought that maybe I left it open on purpose but made sure that everything was fine. She also told me that she tried to close the door but when they checked later, it was open again - so I think my problem is based around my door latch not catching and the wind blowing the door open. I've learned my lesson at least - at no cost but to my heating bill and pride.
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Merry Christmas!
I've remarked a lot lately to anyone who'll listen, but this year, it just doesn't seem like Christmas. I'm not quite sure what it is but if I were to try to put my finger on it, I would say it's because I haven't really been able to spend time with my family. As mentioned in the previous section, my brother who I live with, has been in Hong Kong. My sister has had some surgery done and some treatment as well so she's been unable to come back from London. My mom went to London to help out with my sister and so it's only left my dad and I. With work and my living downtown, it feels odd - basically a sense of disconnection from everything that's part of my life uptown. Not seeing the people that I enjoy spending my time with more than once or twice a week is difficult, if I see them at all. My "groups" of friends are all uptown and living down in East York is alienating - almost to a point that I don't know how to behave around some people anymore.
If I thought I was strange before, I can pretty much confirm that I am now. I do my best to stay a relatable level of sane, but sometimes I think my weirdo behaviour is the easiest to behave. Essentially, I feel like I'm estranged from everyone, and at best, I might hang out or invite myself over to someone's house for a few hours per weekend.
What can I do about all of this? Probably nothing. It'll pass - the feeling that is. I do believe that I'm always going to be a little different than my friends, especially the way I see and conclude things. At least I'm having fun doing it, and my friends don't seem to mind it (or it doesn't bug them enough to tell me to change).
It might not feel like Christmas but it is - and I best celebrate it as I can, if nothing else.
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My sister's home! A gimp doped up on drugs and possibly a little radioactive!
Happy Christmas everyone! | | |
| 3² + 4² = 110012 = the smallest Friedman number
In spite of my overwhelming desire to hide my archives, I'll leave them alone for now.
I suppose my resolutions for this year are the following:
- Refind my social niche. I feel like I've stagnated into a norm and accepted it.
- Join a gym. Likely the Adelaide club since my work has a deal with them
- Start eating right. If not right, then at least bring my lunch to work more than twice a week (at the moment I only buy)
- Get fit. Start jogging and doing a daily routine.
- Start guitar lessons. Place right by my beach house so I'll probably go in and set up something.
- Continue to read. How peculiar that Ezekiel uses 25 a lot. Maybe that's next
- Join SCAC as a member, OR find a reason why I'm not going to join.
It's snowing today. I wonder if that's a sign or maybe it's just weather. Let's not think too deeply into it.
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... must be a quarter life crisis, or a stirring within my soul ... | | |
| Where is my mind?How's that working out for you?
-What?
Being clever.
-Great.
Keep it up, then. Right up.
So
today I've had a bad day. I woke up ridiculously late (think - time
when most latecomers get to work as the time I woke up today), I was
super busy at work, I barely left on time (6:30 on a Wednesday since I
have small group), I didn't get to sit down at all on the subway (not
that that's too bad, I like to subtly give up my seat without drawing
attention to myself - I'm ninja!), and for the ultimate defeat of the
night: I sucked at Cranium.
Okay,
so if you know me, or if you're a long time reader, you'll know I link
a lot of stuff. You'll get the idea that I sort of like reading things.
I know a lot of useless stuff. I am a limitless fount of facts,
figures, and fortunes of history, celebrities, and the normal day to
day, amongst others. I like reading obituaries on the Economist because
I find it interesting to sum up someone's life with a little simplicity
mixed in. I find war, battles and strategems incredible and I like to
know pretty much everything. I feel like I'm an unpretentious
know-it-all (or at least I hope I'm unpretentious - whatever
condescension I exude, please I mean no harm - I just think that
perhaps you care about something just as much as I do).
So what does
all this have to do with anything? I blew. I absolutely blew. I
couldn't get a single factoid-based Red question right. I fumbled the
celebrity-based Green section. I got a useless blue, only after another
team picked it up. I dont' know what it is in particular. There's
everything that went wrong with what I did. I am not mentally agile
anymore. I have no recall. To be fair, I should have seen this coming.
I had possibly my most sluggish Jeopardy first rounds that I've ever
experienced. I can usually finish one or two categories, this time I
was drawing blanks and waving my arms in disappointment. Pretty much
the situation at church. Other teams were smoking it up, and we were
just plain far behind. It took at least 2 or 3 rounds to get on the
board, so much so that I think Ern's
team was already halfway done before we go our two spaces. I would like
to pride myself on being good at "smart games" compared to normal luck
based games (ironically I sucked at Settlers of Catan last
time too). I consider myself probably below average on an athletic
scale so if I don't have my mind going for me, what do I even have?
I
suppose on the positive side, and this is not being sarcastic, I hit
only 3 lights on my way to church (the route is from Bayview to Midland
on Finch), I came home to food (when uptown, mom usually FINISHES
cooking during jeopardy), I got to watch a round of jeopardy, I read the chapter that I was supposed to (14), and I got to play Zigity!
Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
On a side note, the Watchmen looks haunting. As it should.
I'm
glad this post didn't turn out to be one of the many starts but
unfinished posts that I have "saved up". Guess what folks, those ain't
likely to be seen in the light of day. | | |
| A lot of stuff has been happening... and I'm not even sure how to begin
So I'm really busy. You know how you say "I'm busy" but really aren't? Well, that's not me. I'm not complaining but all this stuff has piled into a giant ball of suck for me for my health. I'm sick and it's the fourth time this year. Do you even KNOW what that feels like for me? I'm never sick while at university - maybe a couple days here and there and now, it's not even June and I've had 4 different ailments, 3 of which have made me skip work. It's not like I adore work and want to be there every moment but I don't like missing it. Work piles up - and I haven't even been there for 3 months!
So on that note, I'll mention work. I was a Underwriting Technical Assistant for Markel, pretty much a niche market insurer for Northbridge which is part of the ever-huge Fairfax Holdings corporation. Yeah I was basically an ant in one little anthill of the big backyard. It was good! I liked the job although I wasn't really going to be moving anywhere fast. The jobs afforded me time to do things at my own pace and if I wasn't busy, I could do other things. The people were pretty young and generally cool - although I didn't really click with a lot of them. It was a good environment nonetheless. I should email them sometime.
Oh yeah, so I'm not there if you haven't gathered. I got a call from Sunlife and after a weird interview process, I got another position there instead. I pretty much chalk it up to God being crazy provident - although that's a concept I'm still digesting. I didn't outwardly apply again (I applied back when I was unemployed) but it just all-of-a-sudden happened! I have to thank my former youth pastor and a lady from my church for seriously putting things together for me. My new position is basically a Junior Underwriter for Group Benefits in Western Canada. It's pretty much a step up in terms of my old position and it's a step ahead for future career objectives but we'll see where that turns out. It's not like I've done this before, so I figure God's sort of seeing stuff through for me while I do my best.
So about that God, heaven ... and religion too.
So I know I believe in God. I trust that Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and saviour and all the jazz that is that. I suppose in a way, at least for the past year, I haven't really been feeling the Spirit working in me. I was called out on it and challenged - deal with it or there will be consequences, the least of which he would lose respect for me. I mentioned last month I would finish The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. Suffice to say, I broke my word. I didn't - however, this book is crazy! I don't know if I'm dense or stupid or just plain tired when I read it but I have to reread chapters sometimes. I read a section, think about if I took anything out and go back, because I know he's saying so much more! It's written in more of a conversationalist style than the organized essayist style of most books but it certainly gets to the point. I would totally recommend it. I can see some changes in my life already, seeing how I was dry to now brimming. I try to see things from a Kingdom perspective and rethink things to allow God to transform my vision. We'll see where it goes from there. Especially since I'm leading in softball this year.
Softball
So DMM is back for a 3rd season and I'm back at the helm, although I really have to say God's put things together. We weren't going to have a team but things came together, people joined and we're doing what we can. The team is different from the previous years but it's good, a lot of experienced players mixed in with some newbies, as well as more SCAC people mixed with new faces. Skill wise I think we're on track but honestly, I can't care about that. The one thing I am REALLY excited about is seeing how God uses us for his ministry this summer. Enoch as governor is pretty crazy. He's really ambitious and God uses it to work into us something good, great even.
We've moved!
So my parents decided that they wanted out of RH and thus, we've moved down to Willowdale and Cummer. It's pretty much 10 minutes from the subway so it's not going to be a problem getting to work. If anything, Metropasses will abound! The new place isn't as big or as NICE as the old place, and I'll certainly miss the old place having lived there for 22 years, but it's got potential. Maybe in a few months it'll be good to go for some getogethers and maybe I'll get a grill. Too many maybes! Moving has seriously tired me out though, and my dad has cheaped out on some stuff where my mom and I are almost pissed off about it. Whatever. It's partially why I'm also going to be partially living with my brother. Yes, I'm moving to the beaches. Actually, technically I've already moved my STUFF there but I'm not living there yet. You see, I'm sitting in the floor of my barren room with my stuff in boxes laid about hunched over my mom's laptop. I look forward to living in the beaches though. When I say beaches though, I mean 5 minutes from the water near Woodbine and Queen. It's pretty ridiculous. I can't wait for stuff like Jazz festival or something!
Concerts
I went to Jason Mraz in late April. Have I ever told you I really do like him? I liked him before all others KNEW about him. I recommended him to my don in first year and it was great seeing him LIVE finally! From You and I, stuff from Curbside Prophet, to Mr. A-Z (although no Wordplay/Geek in the Pink) Mr. Mraz did not disappoint. Honestly I was worried I'd be paying 34 bucks to see an overglorified version of "I'm Yours" but I'm glad there was more substance to it. It was weird seeing everyone at the concert too - although I had bought tickets for half of them.
Yes I paid 34 bucks althogh Ticketmaster tried to charge me 42. Ticketmaster is tehsux. L2buytickets?
I also went to Augustana. While not notable, I gotta say I went to a Russian party at a lounge after. Tres unique. Wasn't bad!
Rilo Kiley in a couple weeks! Looking forward to seeing them and Thao Nguyen and the Get Down Stay Down. GG LA Indie bands!
I've basically just updated my life and stuff. I'll actually write more in terms of deeper thought when I can. Things are hectic. You can check my google calendar to get a clue.
I need a laptop. What's good?
What should I be looking for? specs? Sham said he'd try to hook me up but I don't know if I want to trouble the guy.
...//have a great long weekend//... | | |
| Interesting
I'm going to finish this book in less than 48 hours.
God will be my strength. Perhaps I've approached him all wrong these past few months or more.
I pray I become a changed man.
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